Dating is an unrivalled experience full of firsts, butterflies and a few
never-again moments. Sometimes, we end up dating someone that we later realise
was a bit of an accident. So, get some chalk and let’s tally – how many of these scenarios have you
experienced so far?
#1: The (literally) Hopeless Romantic
With this guy, your romantic life is one glorious string of unnatural and
pre-planned moments ripped straight from the movies and dumped into the opening
credits of your relationship, where your dates are a series of Pinterest-perfect moments and candid snaps that
he accidentally caught on camera.
More often than not, you find yourself somehow stood in front of his DSLR as
you are pulled into an embrace worthy of a Chanel campaign, just as the light
tumbles into golden hour (and then of course the timer just-so-happens to be
set for 10 seconds).
Everything looks perfect.
Spontaneity is unknown in this relationship, and his ultimate dream is to
have his proposal to you photographed by a love-struck passer-by, and then made
viral in a hunt to find the mysterious and romantic gent who planned it all,
because doesn’t everyone want a guy like that?
This guy has ideas that come alive on camera, but fail to spark when not
filtered with a lens flare. He’s a beautiful mistake, but makes you feel like
you’re being directed in a blockbuster instead of actually falling in
#2: The Wanderlust Traveller
This is beautiful, poetic; dreamlike and magical, as you meet whilst backpacking on unknown terrains and have your first kiss
under feather-like sprays of mist from a waterfall.
By day you stumble upon new vistas and navigate across rivers together; by
night you melt marshmallows over a campfire and snuggle beneath a web of
sleeping bags and blankets. You have a whirlwind romance at breakneck speed, and vow that you’ll never
need anything else in the world as long as you have each other, and commit to
travelling the world hand in hand.
Somewhere along the way, he makes you forget about your real life and your
commitments back home; your career gently melts away along with your love for
social media and everything marble..until ten hours later when you land back home. Reality bites, and the first thing you
do is order a low-fat skinny caramel frap with an extra shot from Starbucks,
log onto the WiFi and start catching up on what Kim K has been up to in your
absence. Your wanderlust starts to ebb away, and soon you’re exchanging emojis with a
new Tinder match.
Wanderlust guy isn’t a mistake, he’s just someone who clashes with your
lifestyle. Because as much as you enjoy the outdoors and living the natural
life, you also really enjoy the four walls of Topshop.
#3: The one that still says “Lol”
This mistake happens shortly after the time your friend says the words “maybe
you are just asking for too much”.
You convince yourself that you are prepared to lose the “must have a
good grasp of language” attribute and no longer swipe left for the guy who
uses the wrong “their” in their Tinder profile (all the while secretly
trying to work out how you can slip a casual grammar lesson into conversation).
Ignoring the error, you give him the benefit of the doubt and start
chatting. A few minutes in you realise you may have made a horrible mistake as
he simply responds with “lol” to the fact that you have a cat named
Molly. You trudge on, undeterred with your new carefree conversation attitude. A
guy that says “lol” could be endearing.
It could just be his thing.
Ten messages later and three more "lol” strikes and you’re out. You
reason that it should only be used in irony, and then used sparingly because
you are no longer a teenager trying to fill awkward silences on MSN with a
You add the language criteria back to your list, roll up your sleeves and
#4: That only-friendly-at-2am Guy
We all have this guy. The one who is part-man-part-owl, who sparks
conversations late into the night and somehow has you hooked on his nocturnal
Over the years you’re still not sure if he has added anything to your life
other than the development of bags under your eyes and the need for more
concealer and coffee in the morning, but the rebellious teenager in you is
transfixed on his mysterious existence and makes you slot your phone to loud as
you itch for the inevitable midnight message.
He awakens childlike excitement inside you, and every conversation seems
magical – sure, he occasionally makes you miss your morning alarm and you never know
how to respond to your friends when they ask who you are texting all the time
when out at night, but there is something about him that is totally addictive.
He’s the one you know you should give up. The one you wonder what will
happen to when you finally meet someone outside of the realms of his virtual midnight reality.
But for now, he is great (even if he does cut your proposed seven hours of
sleep in half).
#5: The ‘Writer’
You know the one. Considers himself the next Shakespeare and showers you
with literary gold-dust every waking moment.
A simple “good morning” is not enough to show the level of his love
for you, as he talks only in metaphor during the time when you’re desperately
trying to work out if it is still night and if your alarm is a cruel mistake.
He’s got a creative soul and considers you his living muse; capturing every
breath you take, the way you flick your hair and the shape of your lips to
absolute precision. Sure, he’s doting, and makes even the most banal moments seem beautiful, but
he’s overbearing and you feel like you have somehow employed a biographer by
Yes, he writes beautifully and magically, and yes, of course you like
reading lovely words about yourself, but deep down you do just want to be able
to use hashtags in conversation and reply solely with emoji when you can’t
express yourself with actual words.
Maybe you shouldn’t have cast off “lol” guy after all.
Over to you..let me know in the comments which you have experienced, and who I have missed off!
Photo credit: Chris Sardegna @ Unsplash
Dating is an unrivalled experience full of firsts, butterflies and a few never-again moments. Sometimes, we end up dating someone that we later realise was a bit of an accident. So, get some chalk and let’s tally – how many of these scenarios have you experienced so far?